Good Touch Bad Touch conference

"I wasn't sure if abuse was a normal thing that happened with everyone around or just me."

Sambhali Trust, in collaboration with Child Welfare Committee, organised a conference that directly addresses child sexual abuse. This is an incredibly taboo subject in India, and rarely reported for many reasons. Firstly, the victim and their family are highly stigmatised which means there are severe social repercussions of reporting such abuse. Secondly, the lack of education about these matters and the fact that it is never talked about means children do not know that what is happening to them is wrong. Worryingly, among children that are abused, 28% tell a trusted adult and only 3.4% of cases are reported to the police. The combination of these factors means that child sexual abuse in India is a unique and highly sensitive topic. Most importantly, the silence allows the abuse to continue. Which is where this conference comes in.

The Good Touch Bad Touch conference was a radical step not only in educating people (parents and children) but even by discussing the issue and mentioning the word 'sex'. The aim is to make it impossible to for people to remain ignorant, and instead confront this serious subject. The conference discussed the complex social issues that perpetuate the oblivion of Indian citizens to sexual abuse. Sarah, a Sambhali psychology intern from America, talked the audience through how parents should approach children and make them aware of sexual child abuse, showing how simple this conversation can be. This video, from Amir Khan's popular talk show, is highly accessible and shows how such a short and simple conversation with a child can have profound effects.

We had a panel discussion, where questions were put to professionals from different fields - doctors, headteachers, lawyers, psychologists and social workers. People from the audience asked questions related to their personal experiences of sexual abuse, the role of the parents, the role of the state and support available, such as Childline. It was a very animated discussion, and amazing to see so many people spanning across so many fields unite and share a common urge to tackle this taboo. This conference has laid the foundation for child sexual abuse to be considered as paramount in education, law, policing and policy.

We want No - Go - Tell to be made compulsory in schools throughout Rajasthan. We want children to understand that 'bad touches' are unacceptable, that they are innocent victims and that they should tell a trusted adult. We want parents to teach children this. And we want parents to trust their child and act when their child confides in them. We want parents to prioritise their child and report the incident so that no other child can be abused by this criminal. We want society to stigmatise the criminal and support the victim. And we want the law to be practiced, and victims to be punished.

 

 

Women's Rights Workshop

Last week, I ran a workshop for the women of Jodhpur Empowerment Centre about women's rights. It was inspired by a series of workshops the previous week by some local law students, who spoke about women's rights, human rights, child rights and how to report incidents to the police. We discussed the Indian Constitution:

• The right to equality
• The right  to freedom
• Equal pay for equal work
• The right to economic development
• The right to education
• The right to freedom of religion

This got me thinking about the reality of these rights - although every Indian citizen is theoretically entitled to these basic promises, to what extent are they enacted? From very basic demands that are largely dismissed yet still significant (the right to wear jeans) to more pressing issues, such as the right to chose your husband, or to chose not to have a husband at all.

 

I began by asking women to think about the things they are grateful for in their lives, that are available to them because they are women. Many responses were linked to Sambhali - they are happy to be able to read, to speak English, to sew, to do embroidery. Many women were also grateful for their families and children. We then thought about the things these women wish they were able to do, but is not possible at the moment. The responses were often economic - they would like a house, a car, some women even said they wanted a book. Some women wanted children, and something I found very significant was that some women said they wanted to not have children. Definitely a rebellion against the Indian status quo. We finished by discussing what these women want for their children and the future - a good husband, a good education, to be a lawyer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This workshop let these women dream - about things not currently possible, about what they can change to make possible for their children. But it is more than a dream - simple things they may deem insignificant can gradually change society's notion of what is and isn't acceptable, presenting a challenge both the caste and patriarchal systems that paralyse the social mobility of unprivileged citizens such as those of the Jodhpur Empowerment Centre.

 

Setrawa

On Thursday, five volunteers visited Setrawa, which is a small desert village 110km outside Jodhpur, where Sambhali has another empowerment centre. The contrasts between the city and this village were stark - life in the village is incredibly simple and basic.

When we arrived at the Jodhpur Empowerment Centre, the women were repaying their loans, but because they cannot write, they had to use a thumbprint instead of a signature. Providing micro-loans to those who lack the initial credit is one of the most common means of grassroots development worldwide. Sambhali gives interest-free loans to women in Setrawa, particularly widows as they are marginalised by society. After their husband dies, they are not allowed to speak for one and a half months, or leave the house for a year. The complex rules and regulations mean that often, to compound the social effects of widowhood, women become incredibly poor. We met some of the women who received loans from Sambhali. One of the women bought a cow so that she could sell the milk to the villagers. Another woman bought a small shop. Another woman buys fabric and using the sewing skills she learned at the empowerment centre, makes clothes and bags to sell. The loans therefore allow women to become both financially independent and socially and economically empowered.

A proud woman and her shop

 



Women repaying their loans



 

We spent some time with the Butterfly class, which is an after-school programme where children have the opportunity to further their English, Hindi and maths, as well as arts and crafts and workshops. The arts and crafts sessions teach self-sustainability and encourage creativity from a young age, in the hope that when the children grow up they will be able to sell products they have made. This is often done with recycled goods to promote sustainability. The children were adorable, so confident and so proud, running up to us to show us their workbooks. Some of the girls showed us a dance and they sang us some songs - I've never heard ten green bottles sang so passionately. 'And if one green bottle should accidentally fall *dramatic clap* there'll be no green bottles sitting on the wall' - it actually broke my heart when the bottle accidentally fell. So much passion!

 

The Welcome Song

I have noticed a difference in our approach to education in the 'west' and here. We take for education for granted, 'oww back to school tomorrow', leaving our homework until the last minute, waiting for the announcement that it's a snow day, and at one point it was even 'cool' to not try hard and underperform. But when an education is not a given, it is valued on a whole new level. These Setrawa children choose to come to Sambhali to supplement their education, and go to 2 schools a day, 6 days a week. The class I teach back in Jodhpur ask me for homework, tell me they want me to teach them much harder topics and love tests because they can show off what they know - they are so proud of the education they have been given because they fought for it and make the most of it. We could all learn from these girls.
 

The Blue City

Last weekend I finally had the opportunity to explore Jodhpur. Not the tourist route I did on my last trip here in 2011, but exploring the backstreets, the hidden gems of the city (of course with help from a local). I tried my best to remember the route so I can return to the same chai stand and temple but in reality, we followed a maze of hectic, vibrant and far too similar streets that it would be near impossible. I'm so happy to be back in the India I remember - chaotic, vibrant, enchanting.

We began with a trip to the water reservoir, a popular destination for the locals trying to escape the afternoon heat. I was so envious of everyone splashing, swimming and climbing through the inflatable tubes. The scenery was surprisingly beautiful - the lake had historical walls surrounding it, and the Jodhpur Fort looming over it. From here, we walked through the old town; the buildings are ancient and have been passed through generations within the same family. The sense of community was immediately visible - as obvious 'intruders' were constantly asked who we were, where we from, and we saw many groups of men inside playing old games. The architecture revealed the past extravagances of the city disguised by the recent decay, with empty houses that are now the property of the government.

We were then given a dessert tour of the city. I heard that Indian desserts are notoriously sweet but wow! My personal highlight was gulab jamun, which I was surprised to hear later was a cheese-based desert. It looks like a dumpling and tastes like sticky toffee pudding but better. The stall we went to was apparently the best in the city, so I need to make a mental note of how to get back when I inevitably reach a brick wall with the curry.  We found an amazing chai stand too. Chai is Indian tea which is made of black pepper, sugar, water, milk, tea leaves, ginger, cardamom and to me is India. On trains, every 20 minutes you will inescapably hear "CHAI CHAI CHAI CHAI CHAI" and splash out 5 whole rupees (not even 6p) on this heavenly sweet'n'spicy drink.

We then visited a temple during a ceremony, which was another amazing Indian experience. The smell of incense and candles, the harrowing echo of clashing music - separate chants from all corners of the room - and the ringing of bells aroused all of my senses and I was truly mesmorised.


I was enchanted by my first Bollywood experience, I had jaw-ache from trying to stop myself smiling. We went to see a film called Raanjhana, which for me was exactly what I expected of a Bollywood film - Hindu vs. Muslim love story, singing and dancing. I understood the film quite easily despite it being in Hindi (apart from 'oh my god' and 'I love you') and no subtitles. My favourite experience was being part of such an enthusiastic audience. I am used to laughing in the cinema, and once or twice I have been in the cinema when people clapped. But throughout the film, the audience would erupt in hysteria and applause (I have heard about the booing too), it was a brilliant crowd.


The following afternoon we went to the fort gardens, which has a spectacular view of both the fort and the city, where I could properly appreciate how blue Jodhpur is. We climbed up to the wall and sat admiring the paranomic 360 degree views. The fort has been built into the rock, and the closer I looked the more I appreciated how amazing the architecture of the building.

 

Namaste

"You educate a man; you educate an individual. You educate a woman; you educate a whole family".  - Mahatma Gandhi

I am spending my 2 months in Jodhpur volunteering for Sambhali Trust, a women's  empowerment NGO. It is an amazing grassroots charity which seeks to use education as a means of achieving female social and financial independence.

One of its projects, Jodhpur Empowerment Centre, empowers women in two ways. In the mornings, both foreign and Indian volunteers teach the girls and women English and maths. In the afternoon, they are taught sewing and tapestry. The aim of this project is to allow women to be able to run a micro business and the ability to sell their goods. After two years, the women 'graduate' and are given a sewing machine to facilitate the ability to sell their own goods. Graduates' products are also sold at the Sambhali Boutique, which is a shop located in the tourist district of Jodhpur and where the graduates work. I visited the Sambhali Boutique yesterday; the handicrafts are beautiful. They sell kurtas (long Indian-style blouses), stuffed toys such as elephants, and in particular I have my eye on the embroidered cards.

I am dividing my time between the Jodhpur Empowerment Centre and the Boarding House. The boarding house is where 20 girls from rural villages, such as Setrawa (where Sambhali has another project), live during term-time in order to receive a good education. They are between 10 and 14 years old, and are the most lively, fun and amazing girls. The boarding house is run by a truly incredible woman whose life is dedicated to the education of these girls, as well as caring for her family. In the afternoons, I go to the boarding house and help them with their homework, play games, take them to the optician - anything that needs doing. They are young girls and living away from their families so volunteers' role is to give them love and attention that they miss by being away.